


Racing to the Edge

by GodOfWar



Series: My Big Bro, Serpent of Eden [3]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Archangels Are Siblings, Car Chases, Dogs, F/M, Humor, Idiots in Love, It shows, Lucifer and Crowley are Brothers, M/M, THIS IS JUST FUN, and nothing hurts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-18 21:21:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29615610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GodOfWar/pseuds/GodOfWar
Summary: Lucifer and Chloe fly to London for Christmas.There are some...complications with that.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar
Series: My Big Bro, Serpent of Eden [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2174100
Kudos: 69





	Racing to the Edge

Black Bentley screeches to a halt right between two taxis, fitting there with near improbable feat of physics with 'Under Pressure' blaring loud enough to wake the dead.

"Get in!"

"What, not even hello? Happy Christmas? Can I take your bags?" Crowley sent absolutely venomous glare from above the rim of his dark glasses, his black nails leaving groves in the leather of the Bentley's wheel. Lucifer grinned at his obvious irritation and opened the back door letting first Chloe then Beatrice slip in, lingering on the sidewalk. He twitches when the bags at his feet disappear.

"Ah, dear boy, that's not exactly good time to be contrite." Aziraphale presses his mouth into a tight line, he leans toward Crowley and looks through the back glass.

As if calling the wolf out of the woods four black Audis speed up from out of the corner with a roar of poorly maintained engines, heading their way alarmingly fast and with no care for traffic laws. Lucifer is forcibly thrown inside, nearly collapsing on Beatrice's lap and the door swats him on his behind as their car is hurled onto the street with Crowley's lead-heavy foot on the pedal. 

"Belts on!"

This time he doesn't argue. Or overthink how exactly vintage car had acquired those. He is too busy throwing gleeful glances at their pursuers. 

And then something clinks on the glass.

Many somethings.

Repeatedly.

"Are those bullets?!" Chloe pats her side, likely in search of her gun only to stop herself with doom in her eyes. She probably realized that she'd left it in _Los Angeles_. It was supposed to be vacations. Few boring Christmas days of rest from all the pitfalls of ruling Hell, stretched between London, South Downs and Oxford with a small pit stop in Tadfield to pick up Warlock and…and Adam.

Thankfully, it did not look anything like boring.

"What did you do?" He asked gleefully over the pitter-patter of bullets hitting the car and harmlessly bouncing off like they were made out of foam.

Aziraphale unclenches his hand from the door handle and bends to pick a medium-sized cardboard box that lay at his feet. He passes it carefully, putting it on Beatrice's lap. She opens it before anyone has the time to stop her and squeals as only little impressionable offspring can, pushing both hands in.

"Is that Shih Tzu puppy?" 

The puppy has the guile to wave it's tiny tail at them, yipping as it tries to slobber all over Urchin's hands. She cuddles the little monster making corresponding noises of awe after which she fixes her mother with a _look_. 

Seeing as her efforts are wasted she does it on Lucifer, too. It's super effective. Unfortunately for her, Chloe interjects before he has the time to promise the child a whole pack of puppies. It's a good thing. He is already trying to get as far as he can from the slime factory on four legs. And poor table at his penthouse did not recover after two hellhounds had their naughty way with it. He feared what else a monster such as those could do.

"Are we really running from four armed cars because of a dog?"

"Be grateful that we've already lost two others." Aziraphale doesn't look at all happier for the fact even as he says it. There is a strange glint in his eyes reflected in the rear-view mirror.

"How did this happened?"

"How? You want to know how?" Crowley turns to squint at them, disregarding Aziraphale's sharp 'watch the road!'. His hand flies, nearly braining his husband as he snaps his fingers. His voice goes high as he mimics a child's tone. "Uncle Crowley, could you pretty please bring us a good doggie? Not like your doggies. Mummy said yes but she said that if you bring a Hellhound she will dangle your bits out of the window. What does it mean, Uncle Crowley?"

"Darling, a lorry…"

"Fuc…Fiddlesticks to lorry, angel!"

"You can say fuck, Uncle Crowley. I go to school." Lucifer makes an effort to stop himself from choking on his laughter and fails. Chloe does the exact face she always does when she hears him say things she doesn't know what to do with. She glances at him and, realizing that any parenting from his side would be doomed to fail because of his inability to stop snorting like a hyena, she looks at her daughter.

Bentley drifts in a perfect half-circle at that exact moment and wheezes past the pursuing cars, leaving them to non-tender mercies of the lorry.

"So listen to this," Crowley continues like he didn't just indirectly cause a massive collision somewhere behind them," we ride to pick you guys up, yes? Halfway on the road Aziraphale got peckish. We kinda forgot that we don't live in London anymore and there is actual snow in South Downs, figure this, so we skipped lunch. And we were out of ginger snaps, too. So I park and go pick up the box while angel stretches his legs and coos at Christmas decorations. I come back and find him peering over that very puppy and I think…fate. It must be that one 'good doggy' all left out in the parking lot in the winter. So we pick it up. And then there are suddenly people crawling from nowhere and waving guns and walking fast our direction. So we skedaddled out of the place like hounds of hell were on our heels and they just packed themselves into cars and are chasing us ever since!"

"Crowley, didn't that diamond collar tipped you off?"

"Do I look like a jeweller to you?!"

They took a sharp right. The two remaining cars some distance behind them, as Lucifer realized what Crowley was planning to do. He wasn't only one who did.

"Crowley, no."

"Crowley, _yes._ "

 _Crowley yes,_ thought Lucifer as he watched the warning light on the bridge before them. It didn't start to raise yet, the barge underneath it slid slowly on the Thames' waves. Bentley sped up. The Audi drivers must have caught on on that point because they tried to cut the distance. And introduce what looked like a rocket launcher to Bentley's backside. Now, that was an overkill.

It passed them without grazing in a flurry of grey smoke, took down the only thing that blocked their free reign of the road and inexplicably veered off to the left disappearing harmlessly in the water wit wet 'plunk!'. 

And then the vintage car hit the raising bridge with all the speed and spirit of raging dragon and for the few precious seconds they could enjoy the lack of gravity and feeling of weightlessness. It was glorious.

They hit the ground on the other side as everything that goes up has to go down with notable exceptions of things that don't have to if they don't want to - like angels and primordial extra-dimensional entities. And because it was a trusty loyal Bentley owned for a century by a fallen angel she touched the road gently, because she knew what was good to her.

"You are enjoying it. " Crowley threw Chloe the absolutely fake 'who? me?' Look as he took the wheel in one hand to put the other on his chest like a damsel clutching at her pearls. "Definitely enjoying it."

"Guilty. " He could see the sharp incisors poking from between his lips as Crowley smiled, his eyes nearly glowing where they could be seen in the mirror. "Hadn't had so much fun since Cold War, remember angel?"

"I'd prefer to forget."

"Oh you lying liar who lies! You enjoyed yourself too!" Crowley lets go of the steering wheel to throw his hands up and then muttered 'bastard' in the tone so fond it made Lucifer embarrassed to witness it.

The Bentley blares _'So, (don't stop me now) (Don't stop me)  
'Cause I'm having a good time, having a good time' _ at that exact moment, full with jubilant tones, as Aziraphale puts his hand high on Crowley's thigh and throws them an impish grin over his shoulder. Lucifer can nearly hear Chloe's world shattering as she realizes that a cable sweater and awful camel-coat does not make Aziraphale any less a casual madmen then he is.

Even when he lives in denial over it.

"Happy Yuletide and welcome to London."


End file.
